Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Another Internet Myth?

I found this on the internet; my friends with access to a computer tell me it’s an urban legend. I can’t have a pencil or a pen or anything sharper than a Dane Cook script. It’s a drag when you have a point to make.

Two women were at a convention in Atlanta, they’re away from their husbands and had been out late socializing. As they returned the few blocks to their hotel they noticed a large black man walking a big unruly dog that seemed to be following them. Worried and suspicious, they wonder if they should call the police until they see he is distracted by the dog and ignoring them, not exactly a 911 call.

They dismiss their fears as paranoid and embarrassingly racist and walk into the spacious atrium and lobby of their hotel.

The women relax in the relative safety and security of the hotel bar and are enjoying a night cap when they notice the black man and his dog again. He is inside the hotel as well and they become a little nervous but the atrium is well lit and they are surrounded by people, people that don’t seem to share their concern, again they dismiss their paranoia. Still they are women alone in a strange town so they decide to wait in the bar until their possible stalker had turned in.

A little while later, a little more tired and a little tipsier the women finally make their way to the elevators and their rooms. They got on the elevator and just as the door started to close the black man and his dog jump into the car. The dog growled at the now thoroughly terrified women who stared at the black man wondering what would happen next.

The black man said, “That’s it,” very emphatically and with even more force yelled: “SIT!”

The women sat, obediently and quickly, not sure exactly was going to happen next. The black man took one look at the women on the floor and started laughing.

“I was talking to the dog,” he said. “But since you all are so obedient why don’t you come up to my suite and suck my dick?”

They did, it was Michael Vick. He threw the disobedient dog off a balcony and they all shared a good laugh.