Sunday, July 26, 2009

A correction

As hard as we try at PODM sometimes we make a mistake. In a previous post we ended an interrogatory sentence with a period. This cannot stand. Embale Privot, Editor in Chief of Punctuation was reassigned to the PODM call center in Fetlock New Jersey.

In other house cleaning news, researcher Roswell Bentadene has taken a leave of absence to address a personal issue. During the all night Wite-Out huffing party we traditionally hold while we put an edition to bed he incorrectly identified the author of the Harry Potter series as Henry Rollins, the correct author is of course Henry Rawlinson.We apologize for any confusion that might have caused.

We at PODM expect nothing less than excellence from our staff if you don't count some hygene issues, chemical dependency and other mental health problems. We hope you'll continue to make PODM your number one source for irrational, bizarre and irrelevant commentary.

Friday, July 17, 2009

The Children's Hour

Sorry to be so tardy posting, I could plead the exigencies of employment but in fact I was catching up on my napping. A big shout out to my researcher Roswell Bentadene, who despite being disappointed that the stimulus package that PODM received didn't cover his promised bonus, still made his usual yeoman like effort at fact checking.

I am shocked, shocked I say to find that my old friend John at Write Enough is dropping good money (Well, American money anyway.) on the latest Harry Potter opus. For those of you that have been living under a rock these films are based on the bildungsroman novels of Henry Rollins, former lead singer of Black Flag, and concern the efforts of a group of apprentice wizards and witches attending Hogwarth Prep to recover a magical ring of fire stolen by Gollum and Valdemorte. Apparently they use their magic powers to defeat evil and allow Frodo to destroy an army of muggles, a plausable enough concept, but danger lurks in the details. These are adolescents armed with supernatural powers and we all know what has happened to Smallville since those strange teenage visitors from another planet started setting up shop.

Its a conspiracy to subvert our values and distract us from the actual danger young people with supernaormal abilities actually represent.

Have we learned nothing from British horror movies from the sixties? If Village of the Damned was such a fluke why make Children of the Damned? When I hear apple cheeked youngsters waxing rapsodic about witches and wizards I recall that Twilight Zone Episode where Billy Mumy wished everybody into the cornfield and The Lord of The Flies and am terrified! You may scoff, guffaw and chortle at my concern, just rent The Children of the Corn, parts 1 through 666 and be afraid, be very afraid.

We at PODM have no problem with actual magic. If someone wants to sit around and make quarters come out of someones ear for drinks and then hit on bored housewives who think a night at the Magic Castle is a night out, that is all well and good. In the hands of children though its like giving your credit card to a Democratic legislator and telling them to have a good time.

Isn't it time we returned to our traditional values regarding witchcraft and burned a few of the lovable tykes at the stake.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

As told by an Idiot

I am writing this from a hospital bed in the PODM ward of the the PODM wing in PODM Memorial Hospital in Biglanyard Pennsylvania due to injuries received while changing a tee shirt with a knife in my hand. I urge my readers not to attempt this at home and especially not to attempt it while driving. And talking on the phone.

We are saddened by Sarah Palin's resignation earlier especially for the many commentators and pundits who found her such an easy target for their contradictory billingsgate. I am haunted by the vision of the wise old men and women of the media having their heads explode due to an excess of spleen they cannot vent. With only Bush, Chaney and Conservatives under the rubric of Republicans left to abuse what will they do, what will they do?

The biggest loser has to be Todd S.Purdum who just dashed off a 10,000 word piece on Palin for Vanity Faire full of the predictable obloquy and ad hominem attacks usually seen only at PODM and the reasoned discourse of progressive blogs. Mrs. Palin's resignation renders all those sandbags he dropped kind of irrelevant. All that detail and and research he could have lunched on with his like minded friends friends wasted. Of course there is hope, liberals never tire of beating a dead horse, recalling Nixon and Reagan here, provided the horse is thoroughly dead and they can gather in sufficient numbers to club it safely.

Mr. Purdum, who displays an eye for detail regarding feminine apparel, (No ad hominem attacks here.) tells us:
...Palin makes her way slowly across the crowded ballroom—dressed all in black; no red Naughty Monkey Double Dare pumps tonight—
Well that should disqualify the women! Not only does she own two pairs of shoes, she actually wore something she thought was appropriate for the event. Thank God the Republic was spared the horror. Later he asks:
What does her prominence say about the importance of having (or lacking) a record of achievement in public life? Why did so many skilled veterans of the Republican Party—long regarded as the more adroit team in presidential politics—keep loyally working for her election even after they privately realized she was casual about the truth and totally unfit for the vice-presidency?
So unlike Joe Bidden I suppose who is only "casual about the truth" when it comes to speeches by Neil Kinnock. Bidden of course piled up many years in the Senate where he administered his office staff and provided us all with many amusing gaffes. Palin by contrast administered a city and state, albeit not one as robust and big as say Arkansas or Delaware but a state none the less. I guess being Vice President requires more of a record than the Presidency as exemplified by that office's current occupant. If only she had gone to Harvard.

When Purdum runs short of innuendos about trouble in the McCain/Palin camp he harvests second hand anonymous quotes: organizations were reporting that anonymous McCain aides saw Palin as a “diva” and a “whack job.” Many of the details that led to such assessments have remained obscure.
I'll bet. There's a lot more about abstinence and abortion, the shibboleths of Purdum's audience. Apparently they believe she got a pass based on her looks but just isn't up to men's work. He tells us she comes across as arrogant, uppity and disrespectful. I wonder if Purdum were profiling a man he might consider those traits strong, decisive and visionary but Palin of course is "erratic". There is speculation about her postpartum depression which would raise an unholy howl across the land if it was done to a Democratic woman. He mentions her passing consideration of the abortion issue on learning her amniocentesis results contained abnormal cells but can't resist delivering a stern back hand to her for believing that abortion is wrong even though her actions were consistent with that belief.

Its a long tedious read but instructive on how to construct a meandering hatchet job.

I always liked Palin she was different from the usual crop of political phonies that strut and fret their hour upon the stage and then are heard no more. I can't speculate about Purdum's agenda except that he did it for the check, figuring there was a well of animosity he could pander to.

I think the elite hate Palin because she actually is the genuine article, an American citizen with all her foibles intact, thrust upon the stage without being vetted by our rulers who had opinions and ideas that didn't fit their narrative. Palin is like us with all our attendant failings and concerns and voiced them in the face of withering criticism. Palin is like us except in one area, she has courage. She kept her family together, how quaint. She was true to her beliefs and rose to a high level in her second career only to be mocked by hand wringing hypocrites and mediocre entertainers, how unexpected. Whatever her failings her story deserves to be told, it is a tale of an America alienated from their political suzerains, full of sound and fury, perhaps signifying nothing but waiting for a better idiot than Purdum to tell it.