Against my better judgment I’m publishing this post my brother says he took from a military newsletter although it might be from Jeff Foxworthy’s latest album. My Bro was one of the brave men and women defending our country from migratory whales under terrible conditions at Point Magu . He learned just enough in boot camp to kill me quickly but painfully if I got fresh.
He has promised to stop embarrassing the family by appearing in Hair Club for Men commercials if I published it which sold me. Of course I have nothing but the highest respect for Islam and any other religion that keeps women in bags, I intend to study it as soon as I get tired living in the 21st Century. So for the three or four of you that haven't seen this yet, and if you're reading this blog you don't get around much so its probably new to you, here goes.
You Might Be a Taliban, If...
1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon “unclean.”
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
9. You've ever uttered the phrase, “I love what you've done with your cave.
10. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.
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